What she is saying here is SO important. The fact that xoJane had to close comments is SO telling.
There are a million quotable bits in this but I will restrict myself to two:
The most striking view I was indoctrinated with was that sex is something women “have,” but that they shouldn’t “give it away” too soon -– as though there’s only so much sex in any one woman, and sex is something she does for a man that necessarily requires losing something of herself, and so she should be really careful who she “gives” it to.
The prevailing societal brainwashing dictates that sexuality and sex “reduce” women, whereas men are merely innocent actors on the receiving end. By extension, our virginity or abstinence has a bearing on who we are as people — as good people or bad people, as nice women or bad women.
Women’s ability to be moral actors is wholly dependent on their sexuality. It is, honestly, insane.
To the anti-pornography feminists out there: I very much respect your opinion. Nevertheless, I want you to consider how you marginalize a group of women by condemning their actions. Consider that when you demean women for participating in sex work, you are demeaning THEM, and consequently, YOU become the problem.
Please do not continue to make the mistake you have made in the past of ignoring the voices of minority communities. Listen. Listen to the women who have for so long been silenced. Listen to their thoughts and their needs. Only then can we achieve solidarity and true progress within our movement.
Oh my GOD she’s been talking to the same doods I’ve been talking to! This is perfection.
He doesn’t hate women.
Above and beyond everything else, he wants you to know this: he does not hate women.
He has two daughters, for god’s sake, and a wife that he adores beyond anything else, and a sister that he texts every day and a mother who is the strongest person that he’s ever known – yes, stronger than any of the men he’s met. So don’t think that this is because he hates women.
If anything, his real problem is loving women too much.
See, he just wants his daughters to grow up safe and happy. And to be honest, some of the things that you’re saying – that these feminists are saying – are troubling to him.
He just wants to have a sort of academic chat. Peer to peer. Grownup to grownup. That’s all. He’s not saying you’re wrong – not by a long shot! He…
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Those of you who know me from way back know I am a big fan of wolves, and of preserving them and increasing their numbers in the wild. I learned to love them when we raised them in the back yard. I would never do that now; I believe it to be ecologically and morally a very very bad idea, but I’m glad I got to experience these amazing creatures so intimately growing up as a child and teen.
This video — probably the most impactful nature video I have EVER seen, in only 4 1/2 minutes, shows reasons you should care about wolf populations that I never even knew existed: far beyond simply controlling deer populations. I was utterly astounded by this piece.
I LOVE KELLY BARNHILL
Watch this; you’re welcome.
ANOTHER essay about writing (this one by Shannon Barber) that was incredibly interesting. Please read this. REALLY good.