Dear Bitter Butch: What if my husband is in love with another woman?

Dear Bitter Butch,

How do I ask my spouse of 15 years if he has fallen in love with someone else?

Specifically I think he has fallen in love with a pretty, together, and much-younger woman at work. Let’s call her Hannah. I don’t think the feelings are reciprocated. In fact, I think my husband been trying to hide or even suppress his feelings for her–presumably in part because he is her direct supervisor, and expressing them could cause massive problems for both of them.

But then they went on an extended work trip together, and ever since then he’s been different: Read the rest at


Dearly Beloved . . .

prince-2016-press-pic-supplied-2-credit-photo-to-Nandy-McCleanThe night after Prince died, the DJ upstairs cranked Raspberry Beret on repeat while he and his friends sand along with it, and kept up the music all night. I had a job interview in the morning but I did not have the heart to ask him to turn it down.

On my way to Seder yesterday, The Current started playing When Doves Cry. I cranked it and started rocking out and singing along.

The woman in the car next to me waved and we sang along together — she had it cranked in her car, too.

On the way home, I saw every building lit up purple in the Minneapolis skyline.

I shocked myself by crying at work when I heard. He was so fundamentally weird and fundamentally brilliant and fundamentally OURS.

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Handle Terrible Parenting?

I keep forgetting to link my Bitter Butch advice columns here!

Dear Bitter Butch,

Last week someone brought their twins into the office. They are, I dunno, less than a year old? The boy is starting to walk, the girl hasn’t yet, so however old that would make them.

And the boy was crying.

And the mom commented that when the boy cries, the dad says, in a sing-songy voice, “We’re not raising a wussy!” . . . read the rest at

Call for pitches: Femme Feminism

logoHey, writer friends, particularly WOMEN OF COLOR and TRANS women: Here’s a paying market! $100/piece.
My friend Dena Marie Landon is launching a hybrid fashion blog and feminist magazine in September called Femme Feminism.
The site’s mission is to create an inclusive community for all women, feminine and non-binary, to discuss the intersection of fashion, femmes and feminism. Each month I’ll be publishing personal essays and historical pieces examining these subjects within a monthly theme.
I’m looking for writers interested in these topics to contribute 600-1,200 word essays. Payment is a flat $100/piece. Particularly looking for WOC and trans voices. Because of the site’s hybrid nature writers need to be able to provide at least two pictures of themselves demonstrating their personal fashion style that ties into the essay’s theme. Below are the first four month’s themes. Please send pitches to
Questions? Ask away:
October – Do We Denigrate Fashion Because of Its Ties with Women’s Work?
November – Femmes, Fashion and Professionalism
December -Femmes and Family
January – Femmes, Feminism and Money