About Haddayr Copley-Woods


I am a scifi/fantasy writer, radio commentator, and essayist with pieces and performances in places such as Minnesota Public Radio, Apex, Story Club Minneapolis, Science Fiction & Fantasy, and Best American Erotica.

I write dark fantasy and horror short stories. My radio commentaries, essays, and spoken-word performances cover disability issues, community, queerness, and politics. Most of these are available to watch or read free online and linked above. I also write the advice column “Bitter Butch” at bitterempire.com.

I live with my weird, wonderful, unconventional and sprawling family in Minneapolis.

If you’d like, visit me at Facebook, follow me on Twitter, or email me at haddayr@gmail.com.

The views I express in this blog are purely my own and not that of any entity which may hire my services or employ me.

Don’t Feel Helpless: Call!


MY FELLOW AMERICANS: Did you know that there are several phone calls you can make that will probably take you five minutes that can make a real difference?

Did you know calls get counted with far more intensity than emails or petitions when people leverage constituents?

You can call your Congressional Rep to ask them to support HR HR 6382, “No Religious Registries Act” and HR 6340, which will require the president-elect to address conflicts of interest before taking office.

You can find your rep here:


Both of our Senators are on the Senate Judiciary Committee, which is the committee responsible for vetting Jeff Sessions for the Attorney General position and moving the nomination to the floor.

It is *vital* that we call both Al Franken *and* Amy Klobuchar and urge them to oppose the Sessions nomination and use their position on the judiciary committee to expose his lengthy record of racism and opposition to Civil Rights. Let’s not forget: a *Republican* Senate thought Sessions was too racist to be a judge. He’s unacceptable as Attorney General.

Both Al and Amy are opposed to Sessions’ nomination; having the calls strengthens their positions in committee because they can say “We received X number of phone calls.”

Al Franken: (651) 221-1016
Amy Klobuchar: (612) 727-5220

I just did this and it took way less than 5 minutes — I left a message at Klobuchar’s and spoke with a staffer at Franken’s who thanked me and said they are adding to the tally.


You can also call ND governor Jack Dalrymple (701-328-2200). The line goes straight to voicemail. Keep it brief because it’ll cut you off. Here’s what I said (feel free to use it):

“Hello, Governor Dalrymple. My name is Haddayr Copley-Woods and I’m calling from Minneapolis, MN to ask you to put a stop to the use water cannons on Water Protectors in Standing Rock. Please do the right thing. Thank you.”

SISTERS: Are you ready to Hack?

SAVE THE DATE: January 14-15, 2017

Hack the Gap All-Women Hackathon



This space is for women and non-binary individuals. We need idea people, designers, data people, testers, and programmers. If you don’t code, that’s cool.


Hack the Gap is a two-day hackathon aimed at creating a high-energy weekend where women from all backgrounds and experience levels can enjoy an accessible, approachable, positive experience.


Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Cope After the Election?


Dear Bitter Butch,

The fallout from this election is causing personal emotions similar to those I felt when the family rallied to support a sexual predator and to turn me out. Any advice?

– Triggered

Dear Bitter Butch,

I have neighbors in my very rural, agricultural little neck of the woods, who work on farms and who are Hispanic. I’m not totally sure where they’re from. . . . So I’m trying to figure out the best thing to do for/say to them. I want to see if they’re ok and let them know they have my support...

– Wants to help

Dear Bitter Butch,

How do I explain these election results to my kids? I feel like the schoolyard bully has just been made principal.

– Worried Mom

Dear Bitter Butch,

How do I fix the world?

– Wondering

Dear Fellow Citizens,

For the majority of us who are not white supremacists eager to keep this country safe for the white man but absolutely no one else, this election has brought up a lot of old trauma . . .  Read the full letters and my answer at bitterempire.com.

Yes, Women — but ALL women

Hello, my fellow white feminists.
I am glad our next president will probably be a woman, too.
And I am not scolding anyone, or trying to make you feel bad.
But I think it would do well for us to keep in mind that women’s suffrage in the US with the sashes and the white dresses was often grounded in white supremacy, and when we don our white sashes in memory, we are inadvertently telling our sisters of color that we don’t mind if they feel ignored today.
I’m not surprised a lot of us don’t know about this history; it’s been ignored in our history classes. But if you’re curious about what I’m talking about, here is a very concise bunch of quotes from prominent suffragists which clears up this misinformation.
“White supremacy will be strengthened, not weakened, by women’s suffrage.” — Carrie Chapman Catt, 1859-1947 (Founder of the League of Women Voters)

How to help fight DAPL and support Standing Rock


  • Lists of places to donate for the legal fund, representatives to contact and their contact information, etc.:
  • Contact the 17 banks funding the Dakota Access Pipeline:
  • And learn background on the whole situation:

In which I sob over a car.


Today, I took my old 95 Saturn to Newgate School to donate her.

Yes, ‘her.’

I got in the car, started the engine, and proceeded to sob all the way to the school.

Jan and I bought that Saturn brand new in 1995. She took us across the country and back so many times. She took both of our sons home from the hospital after they were born. She took me and my old, dearly departed Shepherd Frodo across the country as well in one of my most happy trips ever. She took my Granddad to see the Mississippi on his last visit to Minneapolis, where he admired my driving skill with a stick shift. She made me look good.

She took us to the hospital when we were hurting, and our kids to school when they needed a ride. She took us camping and to concerts and on visits and to work.

She can’t reach highway speeds anymore; she spews terrible blue smoke into my neighbor’s lungs when I drive her. Half of her muffler is missing. Her clutch is going; her shocks are shot.

I walked into the office, eyes red, sniffling. “I have a car to dona-blaaaaawwwwwwhrrrrrghte” I said, and they pulled out the paperwork and looked at me compassionately.

“Do other people cry?” I asked.

“Oh, yes,” she said. “Sometimes they do. Sometimes they kick the car as they leave. Everyone’s different.” She patted the key reassuringly.

So much emotion over this dear old car.

I signed things, and I cried some more, and a delivery guy sort of laughed with me about it, and then I went out to her and took my bicycle out, gave her a furtive little kiss on the corner of the trunk, and biked off to work.

She sat in the parking lot all alone.

Goodbye, little Saturn. You done good.