Category Archives: Bitter Butch Columns

Dear Bitter Butch: Why Can’t He Take Teasing?

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Dear Bitter Butch,

I’m a lucky woman in many ways. I’ve been married for 12 years to a great guy who earns well, is a great dad to our two boys and is mostly fun to be around. Trouble is he can’t seem to tolerate any teasing from me. I always back it up, apologize honestly because I don’t want to cause pain but this is getting really old. Teasing and ribbing is supposed to be fun for each other. I welcome his jesting and laugh uproariously when he gets a good jab in but he can’t seem to accept it from me. We’ve talked about it in therapy but we don’t seem to get anywhere with it. How can we get past this?

– Bored in Baltimore

Dear Bored,

You want to get past this? Then stop. You’re bored, but he’s hurting.

Read the rest of my answer at bitterempire.com.

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Cope After the Election?

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Dear Bitter Butch,

The fallout from this election is causing personal emotions similar to those I felt when the family rallied to support a sexual predator and to turn me out. Any advice?

– Triggered

Dear Bitter Butch,

I have neighbors in my very rural, agricultural little neck of the woods, who work on farms and who are Hispanic. I’m not totally sure where they’re from. . . . So I’m trying to figure out the best thing to do for/say to them. I want to see if they’re ok and let them know they have my support...

– Wants to help

Dear Bitter Butch,

How do I explain these election results to my kids? I feel like the schoolyard bully has just been made principal.

– Worried Mom

Dear Bitter Butch,

How do I fix the world?

– Wondering

Dear Fellow Citizens,

For the majority of us who are not white supremacists eager to keep this country safe for the white man but absolutely no one else, this election has brought up a lot of old trauma . . .  Read the full letters and my answer at bitterempire.com.

Dear Bitter Butch: Should I Admit My Celebrity Crush?

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Dear Bitter Butch

I have a huge crush on a celebrity. He is simply the most beautiful man I’ve ever laid on eyes on. And I’d like to send him a fan e-mail/message, just saying I think he’s very attractive, nothing more, but there are two problems. First, he’s not a huge celebrity, so there’s a decent chance he’ll interact with my message and/or me online. Second, he’s straight and I’m gay. Read more . . .

Read the rest of the letter and my answer at bitterempire.com.

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Thank Someone For an Offensive Gift?

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. . . It was a Christian/Inspirational autobiography by a woman with polio, all about how turning her life over to Jesus helped her overcome her depression and the tragedy of her affliction.

Not only had I never thought of my cerebral palsy as a tragic affliction, at the time, I was a budding Neo-Pagan witch. Mostly, though, it hurt — because it was obvious that this woman wasn’t remembering me, at all — she’d never taken the time to know me in the first place. For a dozen years, she’d been obsessing over her own fears of disability and soaking them in pity. And that book just proved it.

Still, my mother insisted I write this woman a “Thank you” letter, because it was a gift, and the woman meant well, and that’s the gracious thing to do. . .

Read the full letter and my response at BitterEmpire.com.

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Let Him Down Gently Without Breaking His Heart?

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In which I tell a woman to RUN RUN RUN from an infatuated Internet admirer.

Dear Bitter Butch,

I am newly single, and have just started playing the online dating game. So far, I’ve been having a blast. I love dating in my 40s, as I am older and wiser, and can weed out the drama so much better than when I was in my 20s.

I’ve been talking to several guys, and I’m actually making connections with some of them. Overall, it’s been a great experience. But I have one guy that I’m just not sure what to do with, and I’m looking for feedback.

Puppylove (my nickname for him) is completely infatuated with me. He’s 46, military, and from what I can tell, is the sweetest guy in the world. There is nothing that he says that I don’t think is genuine. But, he feels a chemistry that I don’t . . . 

Read the rest of the letter and my answer at bitterempire.com.

Dear Bitter Butch: How Do I Deal With My Beyond Difficult Ex?

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Dear Bitter Butch,

I spent eight terrible years in a relationship with a crazy person. I mean she is certifiably batshit crazy. (I was in a bad place, what can I say?) We’ve been apart for four years now. I have a wonderful new partner who is perfectly sane. I often get threatening texts from the crazy ex-girlfriend. She even texted my new gal a few times. It’s very upsetting for me. I have a child with this crazy person, so I can’t make a total break from her, no matter how much I want to. Do you have any advice on how to deal with my crazy bitch ex?

– Baffled Boi

Dear Baffled Boi,

You don’t sound baffled to me.

You sound really, really, really angry. Read the rest at bitterempire.com.

Dear Bitter Butch: What Can I Do About the Office Skeeve?

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secretary-157444_1280Dear Bitter Butch,

One of the senior executives at my workplace is a bit of a skeeze in that he showers women at our workplace with ambiguously inappropriate attention. From what I’ve seen, the attention ranges from overly friendly hugs, to hands at the small of the back when opening doors, to fairly frequent office visits with small presents like pieces of chocolate.

. . . read the rest, and my answer, at bitterempire.com.