haddayr

Orlando

When you spout hate every day about Latinx people and about TLBG people as if our very presence in this country and in its bathrooms is a lurking menace and then someone shoots up a gay club on Latin night, you need to look at yourself and your contribution to this rather than clinging desperately to your gunsContinue reading “Orlando”

In Which Other People Really Want to Help Me

Downtown Minneapolis, where the corporations live, is a strange place. If you looked at the streets and skyways at a typical rush hour or lunchtime, you would have no idea that Minneapolis is only 40% white and has a median income of around $50K for a family. Healthy white people from the suburbs wearing veryContinue reading “In Which Other People Really Want to Help Me”

. . . and he was also Irish

Ali’s great-grandfathers emigrated to the United States from County Clare, meaning that the three-time heavyweight world champion joins the likes of President Obama and Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. as prominent African-Americans with Irish heritage. In the 1860s, Abe Grady left Ennis in County Clare to start a new life in America. He would makeContinue reading “. . . and he was also Irish”

The Greatest was BLACK

“I am America. I am the part you won’t recognize. But get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me.” “I got nothing against no Viet Cong. No Vietnamese ever called me a nigger.” “Why should they ask meContinue reading “The Greatest was BLACK”

Dear Bitter Butch: Should I Teach My First Grader to Swear?

Dear Bitter Butch, My son will be entering 1st grade in the fall and the worst swear word he knows is “poop.” Should I give him a heads up of words that some of his colleagues might start using soon or is this just silly? – Dad Dear Dad, I’m going to answer your question; I am.Continue reading “Dear Bitter Butch: Should I Teach My First Grader to Swear?”

My Confession

Youngest demanded that I pretend to chop his head off tonight and I obliged — both because I am the best mom in the entire universe and also because I kind of wanted to kill him because it’s 11 at night and he and his brother would NOT FUCKING CHILL OUT and go to SLEEP. Continue reading “My Confession”

This letter broke my heart a little.

Dear Bitter Butch, How does one reconcile loving oneself exactly as one is right now and knowing that one needs to do some fairly serious self-work? – One, not with everything Dear One, Oh oh oh oh oh you ARE a Dear One. My heart goes out to you — because there is so muchContinue reading “This letter broke my heart a little.”

Help Margie tell her story!

You guys my friend Margie Newman is setting up a Go Fund Me to get the sustained time she needs to write her memoir about growing up the daughter of a Holocaust survivor. She is a gripping, tough, sensitive, funny and strong writer and I can’t wait to read this book. I hope ifContinue reading “Help Margie tell her story!”

Dear Bitter Butch: What if my husband is in love with another woman?

Dear Bitter Butch, How do I ask my spouse of 15 years if he has fallen in love with someone else? Specifically I think he has fallen in love with a pretty, together, and much-younger woman at work. Let’s call her Hannah. I don’t think the feelings are reciprocated. In fact, I think my husbandContinue reading “Dear Bitter Butch: What if my husband is in love with another woman?”

Dearly Beloved . . .

The night after Prince died, the DJ upstairs cranked Raspberry Beret on repeat while he and his friends sand along with it, and kept up the music all night. I had a job interview in the morning but I did not have the heart to ask him to turn it down. ❤ On my wayContinue reading “Dearly Beloved . . .”