Author Archives: haddayr

Dear BB, I’ve seen a lot of talk about combating bi and femme invisibility lately, which is pretty great. But I’m still struggling with some conflicting feelings. How do I, a bisexual, femme woman in a long-term relationship with a man celebrate who I am without seeming like I’m just trying to join a SpecialContinue reading “Dear Bitter Butch: question on bi invisibility– one of my favorite questions so far!”

So, I got an email from President Obama’s office calling for a “national conversation about race.” We do not need any conversation. White people need to stop being racist. Full stop. That is what needs to happen. And when we openly murder black people on crowded streets, we need to GO TO JAIL. What theContinue reading “NO.”

A friend’s comment on FB regarding my writing etiquette advice: “What? You mean like which fork to use?” Made me run to my well-thumbed copy of Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior to type in her comments on this, because they are wonderful: If Miss Manners hears any more contemptuous descriptions of etiquette asContinue reading “Miss Manners on Forks”

  Dear Bitter Butch, People at work seem to want to know details about my chronic condition. I’ve told them that I have fibromyalgia, which is why I sometimes miss work. They ask questions about my medications and doctors. I’d rather not discuss these things. It doesn’t help that they talk freely about their colds,Continue reading “Next Bitter Butch column: chronic illness”

I have only wanted to do this since I was, say, nine. Here is the first column! Please send me your crippy, queirdo, bitter, lovelorn, confused, pervy, and etiquette questions to bitterbutch@bitterempire.com! I will answer the living shit out of your questions! I will answer like you’ve never been answered before. When I answer aContinue reading “I AM WRITING AN ADVICE COLUMN: BITTER BUTCH at Bitterempire.com”

I was so honored and delighted to be among thousands of multi-ethnic people in Minneapolis protesting the Washington team’s horrible, hateful, racist nickname today, with my two young sons (their father has a broken toe, so he participated by providing very necessary drop off and pickup.) I’ve been a little bothered by some of theContinue reading “R*dsk*ns Protest in Minneapolis”

From Jezebel: But what I know, after a lifetime of studying BDSM, is that this type of play is impossible to perform safely and ethically without the most stringent and deeply understood mutual consent. I won’t do it with just anyone I pick up at a show or find on the Internet. Along with mostContinue reading “Related: “Dear Jian Ghomeshi: Keep Your Abuse Out of My Kink””

I want media outlets to stop using the phrase ‘sex allegations’ when they mean ‘rape allegations.’ I want them to stop using the phrase ‘priest sex scandal’ and instead use ‘child rape scandal.’ These headlines minimize and mislead and they are CONTRIBUTING TO RAPE CULTURE. Consider this headline from The Star: CBC fires Jian GhomeshiContinue reading “Misleading Headlines Contribute to Rape Culture”